thirty nine and twelve twelfths

I am forty. . . . . no. that's not it.

Forty-year-old me . . . . uh-uh.

On the fortieth anniversary of my arrival on Planet Earth . . . . crap, no.

To celebrate the commencement of my forty-first year of life . . . Oh, GOD no.

I am forty.

Consumed with my own fortyousness, I must express inner thoughts from me. Oh, crap, how did this happen? How did this much time pass this quickly?

Yesterday, I was in my twenties, cryin' like a baby because I had turned 25 without having landed the 6-figure job yet.

Yesterday, I was 27 having ended a four-year marriage to a really nice guy, with my divorce papers in process, and the love of my life firmly on the hook, and a size 8 body to DIE for!

Yesterday, I married the man of my dreams, about whom I still fantasize and who takes care of our children and my aging parents.

Yesterday, I turned 30 and dealt with THAT.

Yesterday, I brought forth life and nurished it using only my body and finding out what all my body parts are really there for (even though they have great recreational functions, too.) Then another life, lost one, then another, and then another.

I spent my twenties trying (and failing) to find out who I was inside and who I was destined to become. I spent my thirties setting aside myself for my husband, my children, my parents, and my faith, until about a year ago. Today, I begin my forties.

With the knowledge that what I DO is no longer the be-all-and-end-all of WHO I AM, I will begin my new career with the greater purpose of 1)serving my family's need for income, 2)helping children become lifelong learners, and 3)revolutionizing the public school system from the inside.

Who I am is this:
I am wife, mother, daughter, neice, cousin, friend, lover, flirt, worker, artist, dreamer, workout queen, over-achiever, mildly obsessive-compulsive, writer, avid reader, blogger, nerd, tutor, and teacher.

Who I will be is this:
All that with more practice and equal enthusiasm.

I'm happy with the way I've spent my life so far. I didn't have a list of things to be completed by age 40 (Thank God!), so I'm not disappointed in standing atop this mountain and looking back at the climb. I've studied, I've worked, I've loved, I've reproduced. I've laughed and I've cried; I've guffawed and I've sobbed; I've giggled and I've had silent tears. It has all been very big and averages out to be very good.

I'm feeling better about this 40 thing. I had a daydream in which I had lost the rest of this extra weight and I was wearing a hot pink baby-doll T-shirt, low-rise faded jeans and long hair. The T-shirt said, "Yes. I'm 40!" It was a good picture. I think I'm gonna be OK.

Poem by Heath

Following is a poem written by a student in the 2nd grade class I taught last week.

It is not hot in winter.
It is not cold in summer.
The breeze feels so fine.
The bears come out like the hare.
In the West, the deer are here;
A fine time to fish,
A happy holiday for hunting.
The deer come out really good.
But the best thing about holidays is
You get to be with your
Family and friends.

Love, Heath

Needless to say, I'm quite impressed. What do you think?

Substitute: Day 3 - Friday

On Friday, I returned to the same classroom as the 2 previous days and began the day with counting lunches and sending in the report and money. Afterwards, we moved right into our spelling test. I found one precious little second grader looking at her list in her desk to cheat, and I made her retake her spelling test later. After that, we had story time where I read "Ira Sleeps Over." The children responded by listening intently to the story and participating in answering all the questions I stopped to ask. Next, I re-read "The Story About Ping" to get the children ready for another art project. I had brought beautiful bright yellow paper and bright blue paper and clean, unlined white paper. I showed the children how to rip the paper into small pieces, then glue them onto the paper in the shape of an object. Some chose to work with torn paper, some chose marker or crayons, but all the art was very well thought-out and well-done. We went to computer-lab, but the teacher wasn't there that day, so we had additional class time. I had the children to the time worksheet they were supposed to have taken home for homework the night before. There were 3 pages, and the children worked diligently for the next half-hour and then we discussed the correct answers. Lunch was next, and then P.E. That afternoon, we did a back and front math worksheet on the same math facts the children had been tested on the day before. They had scored poorly, as a class, and I felt they needed more practice. Some were having difficulty, so I had them use their crayons and/or markers to count to work the problems. When they finished the sheet, we had another story: "Too Many Tamales." We stopped at appropriate points, and the children asked and answered questions related to the story. Afterwards, we discussed some aspects of Hispanic culture and briefly explored some Spanish words and phrases. The children enjoyed that. We packed backpacks and went out for recess. When we returned, the children finished projects or just sat and listened as I finished a Junie B. Jones book I'd started on Wednesday. We had a great day together, and the children behaved very well.