Anger Management: Reality Bites and Licks

I'd love to say that I'm perfect, I always consider the feelings of others above my own, and that I practice the Golden Rule every day. Reality, however, says that I'm controlling, self-centered, harsh, and demanding.

Joining me in the fantasy life in which I attempt to indulge every day of my life - the one in which I push every envelope, explore every facet of every interest, emote and stir emotion in others to a fevered pitch, making life a 9.8 on the Richter scale every day - simply doesn't seem to be on anyone else's "top ten list" of ways to spend their days.

I expect it to be, though, and I want that so much. Doing these things I do makes me feel very "Lost in Translation" much of the time. Occasionally, I think people are dismissing me because they aren't interested or because I'm not interesting, or even worse - that I'm immature. Sometimes I get angry because people won't stretch themselves to participate and find out how GREAT life can be. Then, when I have time to sit and really think, I completely understand how no one else on the freakin' planet would want to step onto this roller coaster I call my life no matter how much they love me. They do support me, standing on the platform and waving every time I rush by. I want, I long for these people that I love to choose to be with me in the front car of the coaster, buckled in - of course - but hands in the air, hair whipping in the wind, laughing until our stomachs ache at that which scares the rest of the world so badly that there are no other riders on the coaster, so the operator just keeps sending us through the ride over and over and over.

Most just shake their heads as they walk away toward the kiddie rides, politely waving goodbye. The faithful few remain on that platform, probably hoping I'll be finished soon and ready to see the rest of the park.

Reality bites: to be with them and experience connection, I have to get off the coaster.
Reality licks: I have someone to see the park with.

Solution? Probably Prozac.